Not a fan of meteorology

On Wednesday night, I was trying to enjoy Law & Order, which is perhaps the most underrated show on television. Unfortunately, my show coincided with one of those meteorologist ego-trips known to most as a "severe thunder storm." Mr. Barlow, who is the meteorologist for the NBC affiliate just couldn't help himself in interrupting the juiciest and most suspenseful bits of my show, and eventually talking over the always dramatic ending. So I missed it. My Wednesday evening was ruined. I was devastated.

Are people now too dumb to figure out that when the sirens go off, you should go to the basement? And is it really necessary to know within two miles where there's the possibility of a tornado? Does it take any real ability to be a meteorologist? I'm pretty sure not. Wednesday's line of storms was about 30 miles long, 20 miles from Minneapolis and moving toward us. And Mr. Barlow says: "This storm might be moving toward the Twin Cities area. We'll keep tabs on that as this develops." No shit Sherlock. I coulda told you that. Then they give me the exact time to the minute the storm is going to hit my suburb. Talk about useless information. Now why don't you tell me whether it's going to be nice this weekend, so I can decide whether to be inside or outside? Yep, you're real bright... I could have looked at the southwest sky and told you exactly what you just told me.

Why do the meteorologists need to be on TV at all? They're about the least eloquent people that have ever been put in front of a microphone. Barlow kept saying garbage like "just to reiterate" and then going on and saying the whole thing again. "Reiterate" means you go over the important parts. If you want to reiterate, just say "there's a storm. Look out. It might be coming your way." But instead we get the history of what appears to be at this point the storm of the century. Hell, they've been tracking it since the Iowa border. There was a tornado watch in LeSuer county? Stop the presses, the apocolypse is coming.

And you can't just have storms anymore. Everything is "the National Weather Service has issued a tornado warning..." Gee, thanks. I think I'll start my own meteorological service by licking my finger and sticking it up in the air, then looking at the western sky.

The other great thing about storm coverage is that it looks like a sportscast now. They whip out that little pen, and draw where the storm is going. And then they repeat it. Over and over again. All the while, all sorts of drama is unfolding in the courtroom, and I'm missing it. The worst part of the whole thing was that there was NO DAMAGE from the whole storm. Bullshit. So they didn't have to say anything at all. Oh, wait, it was good that they warned all those people who were WATCHING TV OUTSIDE to get inside.