murkins abroad

[Update: Josh's article is well worth a read.]

My buddy Josh recently penned a funny and provocative piece in the Lewis & Clark school paper about the idiocy of American girls who travel. His main contentions are: 1) they'll fuck anyone with an accent 2) they're loud, they don't listen and then ask stupid questions 3) they refuse to interact with the local populace 4) they are bad tippers.

While this persistent cultural insensitivity is certainly irritating, I've found the opposite phenomenon to be equally annoying. It's a little thing commonly called Eurotrashiness... Americans who hate America with irrational passion and express this hatred by constantly waxing poetic about all things Europe.

This first becomes evident when a Eurotrash student begins making statements that would appear to entirely contradict his or her previous ideology. For example, those kids who were always telling you about clothing being a "cultural construction" are all of the sudden talking about how much they love the "schicki-micki" fashionable European culture. First of all, I don't think Europeans are all that fashionable:
OK, point taken. When they're dressed in "unfashionable" clothing they have nice boobs.

Moving on, Eurotrash always make comments and comparisons that they are absolutely unqualified to substantiate. I was riding the bus with some other Amis from our group, and one commented that it was "a really nice bus." Bullshit. It was like every other bus I've ever ridden... in San Francisco, in Portland, in Minneapolis. So then the question becomes, has said Eurotrash ever ridden a bus in the United States? Or would he be too good to participate in such a low class activity? Evidently, he had just been exposed to the amazing effectiveness of bus transit. He had to come to Europe to overcome the stigma bus riding carries in the US. When he comes back to the US, will he ride similar busses and call them "really nice?" Just asking.

Another astonishing quality of Eurotrash-Americans is that they can turn many positive American characteristics into negatives. Let's look at typical American characteristics: fat, lazy, optimistic, friendly. Leave it to Eurotrash to take "friendly" and give it a stigma. According to the Eurotrash dictionary, we're not friendly, we're "superficial." What the fuck? Judging somebody's character as "superficial" is itself a superficial judgement, so back at ya, biatch. But beyond this, is it somehow a blight on our national character that it is acceptable to talk to a stranger on the bus? That it's normal to exchange pleasantries with somebody you don't know? Is there something wrong with this? These brief exchanges are by nature superficial. It'd be impossible to do real soul searching on the bus. But hey, it's enjoyable, right? Does somebody get hurt because I talk to somebody who isn't one of my 18 best friends? I didn't know we were supposed to be so protective.

Here's a start. As I think of more irritating things about Eurotrash, I'll throw them up.